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What I saw was hopeful, I think. I didn't see any more anger. She pleaded with me with her eyes to wait until we got back to Cambridge before we talked. Trying to sort this out with her parents and sister around would be impossible. I nodded my complete agreement.And last night in bed, I offered to hold hands, and Melanie accepted. No caressing, just holding hands. She took my hand at once. I'm very hopeful... "What are your thoughts Eric? Will you miss me?" Patricia was smiling at me.I. He called it "being a family," the three of ussitting there watching his programmes. He was frequently affectionate.He ruffled my hair or squeezed my shoulders. But he was easilyirritated. If I showed my boredom he could turn on me."Don't you want to sit with Daddy? Well bugger off then. Nobody'sforcing you to sit there. Go on, get lost."And I would be glad to get away. He made me jumpy. And late at night,when Daddy came home drunk, he was always noisy, in the kitchen, on thestairs, in Mommy's. Thus, if my system of values is such that I put other people ahead of myself, then I am still seeking my own personal happiness by putting them first.“I said someone could argue that I could act against my own nature, but I’d counter by saying that doing so is what was valued, and in the end, would result in my own happiness. And as such, altruism is impossible, in the purest definition. I also recall discussing doing one’s duty without being attached to the results, sort of like you said just. I think she might be scared.'My heart stopped for a moment and I suddenly felt really guilty. I did the calming ritual, realised just how tense I had gotten and lay back a moment, relaxing. After a few breaths I sat up and noticed Janey almost hiding on the outskirts of the group, body tense, face down and looking through her hair at me. I smiled and patted my lap. The way her face lit up as she smiled made me grin happily. She came over and sat on my lap, snuggling up to me.Looking down at her.
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